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  • Dora Nudelman

Empaths: Asking for What We Want

As empaths we often expect others to just know how we are feeling and what we need or want. That's because very often we, in fact, know what others need and want and we do our best to provide it for them. What we need to understand, however, is that not everyone is an empath. So instead of expecting everyone to read our minds, and getting disappointed and resentful when they don’t, we need to actually verbalize and express what we desire. Only then will we take the assumptions out of our relationships and be able to make more grounded decisions moving forward.

For years I expected people to just know what I wanted but, when they didn't, I automatically assumed that they did not care. I equated mind-reading with love, but I was way off the mark. Yes, of course, a telltale sign of love is when someone thinks about your needs and cares about how their actions will impact your feelings. However, what I have learned over the years is that different people show love differently and, also, not everyone is equipped in the very same ways.

Each of us has our own unique gifts and traits, some good, some challenging. But nonetheless, because we are not all the same, we must each account for our differences before we judge others as being wrong or uncaring. Especially as empaths, we must give a little bit more leniency toward those who simply do not possess the same energy sensitivities that we do. They simply do not know what it feels like and we cannot fault them for that.

Having said that, too often empaths and nurturers can tend to be too forgiving and, as such, need to realize the difference between harmless ignorance and intentional neglect, not to mention lack of overall compassion or consideration. Yes it is true, some people do not intend to be hurtful; they just don't know any better. But some actually don't care about the impact they have on others as much as they should. So, the trick for us empaths is to feel out the difference before we judge, and then make our decisions accordingly. But most importantly, we must trust in our intuition and not sweep signs of disrespect under the rug or else it will lead to resentment.

So, as empaths, instead of feeling angry or upset at our perceived lack of receiving what we want from others, we need to realize that if we actually tell people what we need and want, it will take a lot of the guess-work out of the equation. And when we no longer rely on others just guessing what we want, we will have a much clearer idea of how others truly feel about us....for when we ask and it is consciously denied or ignored, then we will have our true answer.


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