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  • Dora Nudelman

Seeking Permission to Be Ourselves

It feels to me like, in some way, so many of us are seeking permission to be our true selves. But why is that? Why do we look to others so much to determine what is acceptable versus what is not? Why are we giving so much of our power away?

Perhaps it's time to finally start giving ourselves the permission we seek to be who we want to be, and to do what we want to do. Maybe it's time we stop looking to others for approval and start accepting our true selves, whatever that means to each of us.

Personally, I believe that the more fulfilled we are in our own lives, the more we naturally want to contribute to the whole of society. So being our true selves is not a luxury but, rather, a necessity for harmony and peace. So it makes sense that we must take good care of ourselves and nurture our dreams so that we have the energy and the will to share that energy with everyone who needs it.

When we are unhappy, many of us tend to project that unhappiness onto others. So think about this for a moment: What if we were all living lives of purpose and mindful indulgence? Wouldn't it make sense that we would want to spread our joy around? Doesn't it make sense that when we are feeling good (by being true to who we really are) that we are more apt to doing good too?

I believe, or at least I want to, that people in general at their core are kind. But what makes them express that kindness is a true sense of fulfillment and joy. To be clear, however, I am not talking about ego fulfillment. Rather, when we are all self-accepting and self-expressive of our genuine passions, it is then that our kindness wants to be expressed as well. We cannot make anyone happy from a miserable head space. So, in fact, it is actually in the benefit of all when we nurture ourselves and our souls.

But remember, happiness is not solely dependent upon what we have but, rather, who we are and how free we feel to authentically express that. Consequently, that does not mean that we must all be millionaires, having already fulfilled all of our dreams, goals, and desires before we can share our joy with others. What it means is that no matter where we are in life, when we give ourselves permission to be true to who we are, and explore all of what we love (without inhibition), we become beacons of light for all those around us.

So ask yourself this: Where in your life have you been giving your power away by allowing others to dictate what you should want and who you should be? And notice how much more you could share (and want to share) when you are actually happy and comfortable with where and who you are right now.

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